Painful Reality Check

Wow. I cannot believe how long it has been since I have posted anything. I really need to get myself organized. I have been wasting so much time....

Over the weekend I received some really bad news. I didn't take it very well.

For many years now I have shut out alot of my problems by ignoring them.. one day at a time. You can almost say that I took on Scarlet O'Hara's motto "I won't think about that now, I'll think about it tomorrow." Not a good thing.

My mother called me Saturday afternoon to tell me that my aunt, the aunt that I have always looked up to in every way, the one that I love as much as my mom... has cancer. My whole world fell apart at that moment. I haven't been in touch with her as much as I used to in the last couple of years. For that, I take full resposibility. I had reasons but I know that there is no excuse for it, not with the amount of love and respect I have for her. It was careless and I will never be able to make it up to her. I was soo wrapped up in my own world that I left my loved ones unattended. I cannot even begin to describe what I felt when my mom told me the news. It was a hard slap into reality. I have been crying for the last 2 days. My face is completely swollen. It hurts to touch it. I'm devastated. Now, I have no doubt that she will be fine. God will heal her. . But just the thought that she is going through something like this is beyond painful.

The lesson to be learned. Tell your loved ones - EVERYDAY... that you love them.. How much they mean to you. Don't wait until something like this happens before you realize that you've been taking the people that love you for granted.

I love my aunt. She is a beautiful woman, aunt, mother, christian.. inside and out. Once upon a time, when I was a little girl, I hoped to grow up and be just like her. I've always admired her. She's so wise, caring, loving. I need to make a better effort to be more like her.

One of my new years resolutions was to keep in better contact with my loved ones. With the people that love me. I have been doing a good job so far. But I will be making an even stronger effort now. I have to value the gifts that this life has given me. I have been blessed by many. My aunt is one of the best ones.